"Child, That's Not Funny"

Children can have a sad, if not sometimes, demonic sense of humor. Here are my battles with the unfunny antics of a 3 year old:

Head butting the bridge of my nose. "That`s Not FUNNY!" Next year she will be strong enough to break it.

Fight the elbow cross to the side of the head, Robbie. Fight it!


Turned up MAC lipstick with the red lipstick bullet fully out and smashed to the side. Red makeup smeared around her lips like a bad version of a golliwog doll. Red finger prints on the wall and bedspread. Red hands reaching up to hug me.

"Mami, I'm so pretty. Like a princess," laughs the 3 yr. old.

"Not Funny!"


My hundredth attempt at making a grill cheese sandwich. I have always failed. I've never eaten these. I've never liked them. Cheddar cheese only works for me in Mac and Cheese or cheap movie nachos. And even then, only for a short time before I've wanted to get something else. But I've always made grilled cheese sandwiches for my 3 yr. old.

As the bread fried in the pan, my 3 yr. old "helped" me scramble the eggs to prep for a Spanish Omelette. She was so excited to be my sous chef.

"I make the egg, mami," said 3 yr. old.

"Yes, honey, what a great job!" Yolk splashed out on to the just wiped down kitchen counter.

I flipped over the sandwich in the pan and marveled at the perfectly, swirled marked of olive oil. The cheese hasn't seeped out and burned on the pan. No blacking marks with uncooked white parts. The two slices of bread stayed stuck together. I was so proud.

"All done, mami"

"Good job. Go sit down at the table. Dinner is almost ready."

"It's ready? I go sit down."

I transferred my perfect grilled cheese sandwich to her Mickey Mouse plate. Cut it into perfect four squares for her tiny mouth and hands. I placed it in front of her with her Dora cup filled with milk. And happiness consumed me as I watched her take a few bites. The picky eater was satisfied, Yeah!

I returned to the kitchen to complete the Spanish Omelette. After the omelette is placed in the oven, I noticed how quiet it was in the dining area. Too quiet. I walked into the next room and stopped dead in my tracks. On her hands and knees, my 3 yr. old was force feeding the dog her perfectly made sandwich!

"Is it good, Josie? Look mami, Joise likes it."

I almost cried.


What antics do your children get into?


  1. What drove me mad was when my children were small and on the days when I worked, had their early evening meal with the child minder. They would eat up every scrap. I'd slave away over a delicious, nutritious dinner and it would be be picked at and sighed over. So I asked the childminder for her recipes for shepherd's pie or home made pizza and I'd lovingly do it exactly the same as she did and yet.... they still picked at it and sighed over it. I wouldn't mind, but I'm a good cook! (PS for a while I got away with getting cauliflower squished into cheese sauce and they didn't notice, but one day - too much cauliflower.) However - now they are teenagers, my son eats everything but my daughter is still picky. Nevertheless I can shove a ton of veg into a tomato pasta sauce (provided pureed) or into a "curry" sauce (provided pureed) so long as it doesn't have any cauliflower - still haven't cracked that one.

  2. Hilarious! :) Sometimes it is what mood kids are in and who they are with. My 3 yr old will eat anything that her cousin of a similar age eats if they have a meal together. But if I cook that same meal, she refuses to eat it. And her tastes changes every week. One week she'll love rice or hot dogs, asking for seconds and thirds. The next week she is calling them yucky and refusing to eat them. Sometimes I cater to her pickiness and other days I don't. It makes food shopping a frustrating experience.